plutonyum80: and i want girls to have 80s hair again
kisrmelsay: b/c you like it?
kisrmelsay: or you think it is funny?
plutonyum80: both
plutonyum80: but i guess that is called the “North Carolina State Fair”
plutonyum80: and that will be back before we know it
kisrmelsay: hahahhahahha
kisrmelsay: awesome
Forgot about this one.
One night this week, Billy, Chris and I went to Target. We did some shopping, and then Billy and I were hanging around the discount Easter candy, waiting for Chris.
Time passes, and we are still waiting. No dice.
More time passes, and we are still waiting, idly looking at discounted candy, slowly wandering around in circles, waiting for Chris to appear. Instead, a female employee of the store arrives.
She looks dumb. Young and dumb.
“Can I help you guys find anything?” she asks. She cannot. We are looking for Chris. But we try anyway.
I say “yes, we’re looking for a fat guy, about my height. Mustache.” Billy adds descriptors as well. I don’t remember them.
Girl looks at us. She looks eager to help but just looks confused.
I say “I’m sure he’s here somewhere. Do you carry him? If you do, you surely wouldn’t be able to carry him far.” Billy and I enjoy this joke because it is so obvious and so lame, and it makes fun of Chris’s gut.
The girl looks nervous. In order to break this awkwardness, Billy says “yeah, we don’t usually have this problem when we take him out in public.”
And then we hear a slight buzzing. A ten watt light bulb is flickering on.
“OH!” she says. “You’re looking for someone!”
Only in hindsight did it become clear to me that she has taken the “do you carry him?” bit not so much as a joke, but more as a lame attempt at hitting on her, a way of garnering a nice slice of statutory rape for Billy and I to share.
Those bastard squirrels that live in our attic won’t quit running around. I checked some boxes up there last night, at least a couple of the ones I own, and found that they hadn’t been hanging out in them as far as I can tell. Today I got home from work and they were scurrying a lot above my room.
So I went up there and looked in the correct direction (southeast), and wouldn’t you know it, there’s a squirrel, chillin on the insulation, staring at me. So I stared back. Then another popped his head up. So they ain’t afraid of us. I left before they moved. I went up there with a camera, and found that the ones from before were gone, but now there was one in the northeast corner. That one left as soon as he saw me.
So there are at least two squirrels who live upstairs, possibly more, and they are full-grown ones too. Mom and Dad Squirrel. Or perhaps Dad and Other Dad, depending on their lifestyle choices.
In other news, I have been triumphing over pollen so far. An Alavert™ for dinner and 2 DayQuil™ for breakfast has been fending them off for the last two weeks with minimal sneezing. Gotta restock tonight. Tarzhay.
I am scooping WRAL here, Melissa.
Word is that Marye Anne Fox is leaving for UC-San Diego.
Call your old man and find out if it’s true.
If not, I’ll buy your next Bo.
If it is. . . you can be our next chancellor.
